Passionate...assertive...controlling...unrelenting...critical...
These are all words that have been used to describe my nature. As someone who is passionate about being a witness for God, I never want my weaknesses to be a stumbling block in someone else's relationship with the Lord. Controlling and critical are the two areas I want to discuss in this blog.
Critical
I am well aware of how easy it can be to identify wrongs in someone else and point them out. I am well aware of the need to only speak a word of truth into someone's life when urged by God. It has been my experience that sometimes I don't know when to be silent and let God handle things in His own time. I find myself wanting to correct and prevent certain actions in an effort to spare a loved one from unnecessary heartache and pain. However, what God has continually been trying to reveal to me is that I don't know what those things are...I only have a limited perception of the events in someone's life. Although my intentions may be good...they may also be out of alignment with the will of God.
Controlling
I need to lighten up. There is no simpler way of stating it. Although this is an area in which I have seen God work miracles, I do recognize that I have a long way to go. Sometimes I feel like I am wound so tight that fear begins to grow in the pit of my stomach at the sight of the slightest bit of imperfection. My mind recognizes, of course, that it is ludicrous to pursue perfection from imperfect beings. However, this does not stop the madness that persists sometimes in striving for the correction of perceived difficulties or wrongs. God has shown me that my control is imperfect, but His control is perfection personified. If I let go...and let God...how can things not go right.
It is my prayer that as I mature in my spiritual journey, that God will continue to reveal when I need to speak and when I need to be silent...that He continues to shake loose my attempts at control. And I also pray that my friends who see me as critical and controlling will understand my intentions and recognize the desire of my heart to align myself with the will of God.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Disturbence and Discomfort
On Monday, my sister sent me a devotion written by Pastor Marvin Williams titled “Lord, Disturb Me”. I read through the content taking in every word on the surface but not really allowing much time for introspection.
I pulled the content of that devotion up again today from my email because of a conversation I had last night with a friend. Apparently, I had read enough to allow a key piece to invade my thoughts and cause me to seek out the content again.
I follow the Radical Rabbi named Jesus, but I am too safe, too comfortable, too undisturbed…I hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door of my life because I don't like my comfort, safety and status quo living being interrupted by the turbulence of big dreams, the deep waters of radical obedience, the rough seas of suffering, and the dark nights of uncertain adventures.
How many of us are too comfortable as Christians? How many of us welcome the turbulence of not resting on our own abilities or welcome the uncomfortable feeling of trusting the potential of God in us? We as Christians claim to trust in God and claim to believe in His ability to equip us to carry out His will, but the minute it becomes too uncomfortable for us, we don’t just retreat…we go into full self-preservation mode—often times trying to completely run away from something we know to be a blessing in our lives. I am convinced that God loves us, but that He also is not concerned with our mediocre/limited definition of comfort. The comfort of our lives should be the relationship we have with God. It should never be our own perceived abilities or limited understanding of our potential. Turbulence, discomfort, and sometimes fear are not enemies to those of us who believe and have a relationship with the Lord. These are tools of faith and opportunities to draw closer to God.
Think about the last time you felt extreme discomfort or were unable to navigate a situation. Did you withdraw or run away from the experience? Or, did you say “Lord, I lean on You…I trust in You…show me the way.” It is high time we ask God to disturb some areas in our lives and then look forward to the growth and wisdom that will surely come on the other side of the discomfort.
Here is an excerpt from the prayer in the same devotion written by Pastor Williams:
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.
The rest of my day will be spent in reflection and prayer over this content. It is my sincerest desire that those reading this blog will also ask themselves...in what areas of my life do I need to ask and welcome God’s disturbance?
I pulled the content of that devotion up again today from my email because of a conversation I had last night with a friend. Apparently, I had read enough to allow a key piece to invade my thoughts and cause me to seek out the content again.
I follow the Radical Rabbi named Jesus, but I am too safe, too comfortable, too undisturbed…I hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door of my life because I don't like my comfort, safety and status quo living being interrupted by the turbulence of big dreams, the deep waters of radical obedience, the rough seas of suffering, and the dark nights of uncertain adventures.
How many of us are too comfortable as Christians? How many of us welcome the turbulence of not resting on our own abilities or welcome the uncomfortable feeling of trusting the potential of God in us? We as Christians claim to trust in God and claim to believe in His ability to equip us to carry out His will, but the minute it becomes too uncomfortable for us, we don’t just retreat…we go into full self-preservation mode—often times trying to completely run away from something we know to be a blessing in our lives. I am convinced that God loves us, but that He also is not concerned with our mediocre/limited definition of comfort. The comfort of our lives should be the relationship we have with God. It should never be our own perceived abilities or limited understanding of our potential. Turbulence, discomfort, and sometimes fear are not enemies to those of us who believe and have a relationship with the Lord. These are tools of faith and opportunities to draw closer to God.
Think about the last time you felt extreme discomfort or were unable to navigate a situation. Did you withdraw or run away from the experience? Or, did you say “Lord, I lean on You…I trust in You…show me the way.” It is high time we ask God to disturb some areas in our lives and then look forward to the growth and wisdom that will surely come on the other side of the discomfort.
Here is an excerpt from the prayer in the same devotion written by Pastor Williams:
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.
The rest of my day will be spent in reflection and prayer over this content. It is my sincerest desire that those reading this blog will also ask themselves...in what areas of my life do I need to ask and welcome God’s disturbance?
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